This is probably another one of my short posts.
Just need to get this out of my system.
I got my period today – on the dot of my 28 day cycle.
Sometimes I bloody hate my period – it’s so bloody on TIME. When I get it, I just know I am not pregnant. People keep telling me maybe it isn’t my period but I think I know how to differentiate spotting and full blown AF now.
Does anyone else see their AF (aunt flow) as ‘Aunt Fuck’? Because I do. Getting my period sickens me and it has been sickening me for the past 6 years.
I had FIVE good eggs this month. FIVE. One at 23mm, two at 18-19mm and another two at 16-17mm. And I had a trigger shot. But none of it made it this month. Sickening.
Fertility, male factor, PCOS, TTC , BFN – it’s so sickening.
I don’t mind trying every month. I don’t mind going on surgery, I don’t mind taking care of myself all alone after and being unable to walk straight for days. I don’t mind the bloating, I don’t mind the dry cervical mucus, I don’t mind the Clomid or the injections or the swallowing of pills every day. I don’t mind trying goat’s milk & kurma, I don’t mind taking some weird tasting drink or fruit. I don’t mind going to the acupuncturist, going for fertility massages, I don’t mind the painful lymphatic drainage massages. I don’t mind eliminating soy, I don’t mind reducing cold drinks. I don’t mind sleeping or walking around the house with socks on 24/7. I don’t mind keeping my tummy warm, I don’t mind not having some kinds of food or drinks. I don’t mind. I don’t MIND.
What I do mind is being the only one really wanting and really trying and making sacrifices.