Forum Cari

One a.m. and my laptop decides to ‘update software’ right when I want to blog! But I need to get this off my chest right now, so I’ll get right into it.

Someone left me a messaged on Instagram saying a couple of people had been talking about me on the Forum Cari. Apparently I can’t access it because I’m not an active member (not enough comments and all…) so she screenshot and sent me a couple of what had been said.

I meant to put this next part in my conclusion, one that I had been writing in my head on the drive home from supper, but I think I would like to mention this right here in the beginning. This is practically how I feel about the whole thing:

  1. I am grateful to those who defended me, is defending me and will be defending me in the future.
  2. While I was quite disappointed they took interest in the WRONG THINGS in my life, I am grateful to those who chose to look at the good instead.
  3. I was right, and has been proven right again that there are some kind of Malaysians who just love to ‘jaga tepi kain orang’.
  4. I do have genuine followers on Instagram who I’m just waiting to meet and form friendship some day.

Below are a few snippets of what was ‘discussed’ in the forum. I’ve tried to protect the privacy of the participants, but if I missed out any, sorrylah ye.


So, I’d like to clear up a few things mentioned here. Inshallah in the future uols nak bercerita lagi, at least you all tak berdosa share benda tak real.

  1. I am married, and is a Muslim revert since 2011.
  2. I did not spend RM1k buying Pink Kalei, Astaghfirullahalazim. Who told you that???? I exchanged it for RM120x4 of Premium Basic, notebooks and inners. In return I got a shawl that was in worst  condition than promised. I’m only wondering how does this affect you in anyway, for it to even be an issue to be mentioned here?
  3. Royal Orchid was given to me by Rosix, who is a friend of ours in case you are wondering, and if you should also know, he designed and made my wedding gowns. *flips hair*
  4. Husband iols was previously married, arwah passed away in 2009 and he has a teenage daughter, who is my 20 year old step-daughter. Yes, you are right, iols bukan BFF dengan step-dotter.
  5. No, hubby actually berjaya dating/bergf ramai before me (including celebrity and minah saleh celops yang lagi hot kenapalah tak kahwin ngan dia) but eventually decided to kahwin me in 2011.
  6. Which means iols dah kahwin lima tahun uols, bukan baru je kahwin terus adopt Daniel ye.
  7. Ye betul, 10 points for Griffindor, husband iols pilot. And I am an ex-crew. That’s how we met ini bukan drama gitewwwww
  8. Thank you for those who said I ‘lawa’ even when I have pimples. In truth, you just don’t see my face on bad days, that’s all. Siapa nak post, kan??!
  9. Honestly, my skin is sensitive and I do have problems occasionally. You can have it too trust me.

Sometimes people seemed envious of my life – for whatever reason. My skin, my money, my son, my life etc. I only wish you don’t because these are all superficial things on earth and it won’t matter in the end. All you see is what’s being portrayed on the surface, but not what is underneath it all. It takes a lot to maintain sensitive skin. Money, effort to sapu the products and mask often. You can have good skin too if you are willing to sacrifice some things for it.

Uols also fail to realize that orang yang berduit tu is actually my husband – who is the breadwinner of this family. While he isn’t the richest person on earth, he earns above average Malaysians, thus, giving me some luxuries in life that others may not have (abam nak handbag baru pleazzzzzz). So technically, I am dependant on my husband for monies. Sometimes, I will pinjam lebih or mintak tolak installment my ‘gaji’ so I can buy something. When I had my own small business dulu, at least I could have certain luxuries on my own, but otherwise, I am fully dependant on my nafkah.

If you think it’s easy getting along with a teenager 7 years younger than you, think again. My step-daughter lacks attention from her parents and perhaps when I came along, I had made things a little too difficult for her. Masing-masing tak nak give in, masing-masing rasa it’s the other person’s turn to show some effort. But at some point, I think we had established an agreement that our relationship will remain stagnant at this point and nothing more. Asalkan she doesn’t find a reason to get me into trouble with her dad, then I won’t have to find a reason to get her into trouble too… hahaha. Orang dah grown up dah now, doing well in America Alhamdullilah biarlah semua ni peristiwa #throwback.

You only have ‘interest’ in wanting to know all about our decision to adopt but you never quite take into account what I went through. Maybe the husband is not affected sangat because it doesn’t make a difference to him ada anak or not, but I had always dreamt of having many children. At this point, after 5 years kahwin still not even a missed period, I’ll take any child even if it isn’t my own. I went through Clomid, HSG, blood tests, injections, IUI and still found nothing. Only despair. Now I have Daniel, tak kisah sangat kalau takde anak lagi. He’s really the best thing walaupun mata sepet and hidung flat hahaha. Whatever it is kalau Ummi Daniel is reading this, thank you for giving me a bebe who is so amazing, healthy, smart and terlebih tinggi sampai Dr selalu mention hahaha! Truly he has not only brought joy to my life, but also to many other people around. You are so blessed, Aini.

Honestly, I’ve been procrastinating about my hijab story for so long. The reason is because I feel that I don’t have a reason to explain myself to anyone. No one would understand or accept what I had to say about it anyway, even my own husband. Only Allah knows why, truly. I will write it soon but regardless of what I say to explain myself, it doesn’t matter what you think of me. I have chosen to ignore what people have been saying to me on Instagram.

Lastly, this is what happens when you have your IG on public and you enjoy sharing the everyday in life to everyone. I write and post for me and it makes me happy. To the ones who commented and could not find any parts in their hearts to ‘bersangka baik’, I suggest you unfollow me or don’t bother checking up on me every now and then. All the time spent doing that and leaving remarks on the forum could have gotten you a Masters degree by now.

Better spend time finding the difference of Wallahu a’lam and Wallahu ‘alam.

And nasibbbbbbbbbb baik mak punya nama spelled correctly…

So here’s the end.

I forgive you.



  1. Cha Syazana · · Reply

    Sabar lah sisthur.. Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:
    “Indeed among the excellence of a person’s Islam is that he leaves what does not concern him.” Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2317
    I follow you kat FB and IG.. i pun ex crew hihi.. oh and you memang cun hihi 😉


  2. wow.
    you are onw hawttt smoking topic there at forum cari.
    congrats beb.. hahaha. *fliphair *blownails


  3. reading them made my brain hurt hahaha
    can’t even learn to spell properly and ada hati nak jaga tepi kain orang.
    oh well, it’s no skin off your nose, I’d say. like the saying goes, “the people who matter won’t mind, ad the people who mind don’t matter.”


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